Tuesday 21 July 2009

Blowtorch and Garlic






Greetings, one and all. Long time, no blog.

You may recall (or not, as the case may be), that last time I blogged, which sounds like some disgusting form of sexual perversion, I had just come back from sunny Corsica to do battle again with the UK job market. Well, the good news is that I managed to secure a week’s work in the Mental Health department at my local hospital. Strange how I always seem to gravitate towards Mental Health departments. Am I missing the point here? Anyway, the assignment went very well and there is a slight chance that there may be more work there in the future, hopefully of a permanent nature– Hurrah!

In between waiting for calls from the employment agency, I have been busy on a new project. I’ve been setting up my new web store which sells hand embellished fashions, including lingerie. Unfortunately, despite Twittering, Facebooking, Burdastyling, USTrendying, My Spacing, Beboing and Flickring myself to death (oooerrr missus!), I have still had no sales to date. So if anyone fancies being my first customer, please have a look at my store http://crystalpearl.etsy.com/
All comments and, of course, sales much appreciated.

The cottage cheese thighs are in danger of creating an international incident by becoming a cheese mountain and all the good work from walking up and down the 60 steps at my last place of work has truly been undone, although the scales show only an increase in weight of 2lbs (I’ll leave it to the whiz kids to convert that into kilos.) The fat on the stomach has rudely re-appeared and the ever abhorrent elasticated waist jobbies are looming on the horizon once again.

As for the hot flushes, then I can report a slight improvement and the period chart now has a proud 8 missed months on it, so only another 4 to go and I am officially post menopausal – Double hurrah!

At a recent visit, my hairdresser kindly informed me that he could “do something about” my rapidly advancing grey hair situation but, at £70-£80 a go, I think I’ll just let it march on regardless. Of course, I could do a bit of DIY, but just can’t manage to gird my loins in that direction. Loin girding is in short supply in this house at present.

I’m pleased to say that I’m off to sunny France again on Saturday, for my annual fix of all things Gaelic (and garlic.) Can’t wait to get back to the Luberon where life is most tranquil and pleasant. However, jobs to do before I go include:-

1) Find swimsuit which can suck in a stone of unwanted fat.
2) Shave everything on body to within an inch of its life.
3) Remove 12 layers of chipped maroon nail varnish from toes with blowtorch and repaint.
4) Clean top ledge of window in bathroom in case die in plane crash and mother-in-law finds dirt whilst clearing house.
5) De-flea cat (again.)

Au Revoire, mes petits escargots!

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