Thursday, 2 October 2008

Eggs And "Curtain Bastards"

The temporary job at the local hospital Geriatric Mental Health Department is going well and I have thus far managed to avoid being sectioned. I’ve got a day off today, so it’s time to update the “Captain’s Log.”

Yesterday started in a rather fraught fashion as, at breakfast time, I was ambushed in the kitchen by a huge “curtain bastard.” My sister, who lives on a long boat(?) narrow boat(?) (I never know which it is, but one of them has something to do with the Vikings) always comes home from abroad to find masses of big spiders on her curtains, hence the name “curtain bastards”, from now on to be called C.B.s. Anyway, this particular C.B. was lurking against the skirting board, so I had to wait until he moved into the living room before I could cover him with a pint glass, which is very brave for me. On top of the glass, I balanced a heavy Pyrex dish to stop the cat from knocking the glass over. Then I left for work, praying that there was sufficient oxygen for the C.B. to survive until my husband came home from work that evening. I am pleased to say that it did, but I could well do without that sort of shock in my current fragile menopausal state.

I’m cautiously pleased to say that the diet is finally beginning to pay off and without an exercise bike in sight. I’ve ditched the Helix Slim drops, but am keeping up the cayenne pepper regime and am eating a high fibre diet. I’ve decided to include alcohol free lager into my regime in a bid to reduce the amount of wine I drink, thus helping to reduce the calories even more. I have also adopted Nigella’s husband, Satchi’s, egg philosophy and am eating two a day, in accordance with the latest findings that eating two eggs a day in conjunction with a low calorie diet helps you to lose more weight than the same diet without eggs. They apparently have no adverse effect on your cholesterol either, although they could slow down your bodily functions somewhat, so it’s important to keep up the fibre content. It was reported that Mr Satchi was eating 9 eggs a day, which seems a bit excessive, but lost 4 stone over a 9 month period. Some people say that fad diets are just a lot of hot air, which I’m sure Nigella could adequately confirm. I just hope, for her sake, that she has a bad sense of smell!

Stumble Upon Toolbar

No comments:

MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM! at Blogged Women's Health Blog Directory Technorati Profile